Helping busy professional women lose weight and keep it off with a healthy lifestyle!
Hi, I'm EJ and I'm the healthy lifestyle coach and weight loss plan whisperer behind Team by EJ.
I created the Team to help busy women like you create consistency around your weight loss plan. You can learn more about me by clicking here.
There are days when murky feelings don’t seem to to want to go away. Nothing is going all the way wrong, but things don’t feel quite right either.
Today was one of those days for me. On the one hand, I wonder if it’s because my baby girl keeps waking up at ungodly hours of the morning (shouldn’t we be past this by now?). On the other hand, I think I’m just stressed out.
While it was a “murky” day, there was a difference. There was an intentionality behind how I handled the murkiness of it. I didn’t reach for my purse and head to the vending machine for a bag of cookies or a chocolate bar and I didn’t let it color the interactions that I had with other people. And the only way that happened was that I paused.
I walked over to a window seat at the office with my journal and pen in hand and wrote out how I was feeling. In that moment, here’s what I realized what was different about this time:
When feeling murky, it’s worth taking a beat. Breathe, write, close my eyes, walk, stare at the ceiling. Don’t ignore the feelings and soldier on even if it feels like the thing to do. Ignoring the stirring of murky feelings is like ignoring an important call from your heart and soul to stop and nurture myself.
Accolades, recognition, money, and power mean nothing if I’m not living my definition of a good life. But I need to answer the question “what’s a good life for me?” That’s my job to define.
I never win when I compare myself to anyone else, no matter how great they are.
How do you wade through murky feelings?
P.S. Today I write about the work I’m doing to be a good human while raising two lovely humans of my own, but I once wrote a book about weight loss…check it out.
I wrote Weight Loss for High Achievers to be your guide to lose weight with a healthy lifestyle. You’ll get a simple breakdown of the basics of healthy eating complete with the tools you need to get the results you want using a healthy lifestyle.
What are you doing to push yourself this month? Here’s what I’m doing…I’m planning to write every single day this month.
You see…since having my daughter, I’ve been taking things easier with writing, blogging, and coaching. With two kids, a full-time job, and a client-based business…I had to be intentional with how I spent my time and writing moved to the bottom of my priority list.
As baby girl grows and big boy gets more independent, I’ve been thinking about what comes next for mama.
…it requires me to bring my best to the table to support the women I hold space for. I still enjoy writing, but my interests have shifted. I’ve written over 200 articles and a whole book on losing weight in a sustainable way and now, I’m more interested in reading and writing about:
saving up and investing enough money to consider us financially independent as a family. Having this type of money gives us options.
figuring out how to raise my lovely Gen Alpha kids to be good and successful humans.
learning and leaning into motherhood and what it means to be a working mom with dreams of being a writer.
Moving forward, most of what I anticipate that I’ll write would be unrelated to weight loss. You’ll still hear about some of the experiments/tweaks I’m doing like:
cooking tomorrow’s dinner tonight to save time
making my own almond milk because we use a ton of it for our smoothies and I don’t like wasting all that packaging
I’m super excited about writing more
Heck, I plan to join a local writers group focused on sci-fi/horror/fantasy.
This is not going to be me being the expert. I’m going to be bumbling my way through something somewhat new and I’m thrilled for a multitude of reasons.
“Vulnerability is not about winning, it’s not about losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” ~ Brene Brown, A Call To Courage
I’ve bought every single book Brene Brown has written and I’m a huge fan of her work. So it’s no surprise that when her Netflix special, A Call to Courage, was released, I was right there on the couch to watch it while folding laundry.
The quote that I shared at the beginning of today’s article is her definition of vulnerability and right now it feels like the definition of what parenting is for me. There’s no winning or losing…there’s only walking into the arena and doing my best without guarantees that the results of my parenting efforts will turn out to be what I want them to be.
Right now I have a 4 year-old who knows his own mind and a 1 year-old who looks like she’s going to give her brother a run for his money. And most nights I go to bed with a long list of “I really shouldn’t have lost it there”, or “I should have done that instead” or the timeless “oh crap am I doing right by my kids?”
Parenting is hard. It’s harder on a control freak/recovering perfectionist like me, but thankfully the recovering part of me is there to remind me in these moments of late night worry that:
Kids are incredibly resilient and all they need is to know that they are loved…and I don’t need to be perfect to show them that I love them everyday.
If they are really hungry, they’ll eat. Parents of picky eaters will feel me on this one.
I’ll make mistakes as a parent and I need to focus on learning forward…there isn’t a parenting manual and we get to be better parents to our kids by showing up and learning with them every day.
And with that in mind, I lay my pretty head to sleep knowing that tomorrow will be a better day as far as I show up and love these two little humans…the outcome will be what it will be.
“What’s your pencil? What is the one tool that feeds your creativity and is so essential that without it you feel naked or unprepared? ~ Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit
While my son built a robot out of plastic parts in a kit and my daughter played with a plastic screw driver, I decided to pick up The Creative Habit from the shelf.
Picking up a book from the shelf is a new habit that has come with having a playroom. I don’t like to hover while the kids are playing and having a book to read gives me something to do.
In reading the book, this exercise came up in Chapter 2 and it took me a hot minute to come up with an answer that I felt halfway comfortable with.
My answer…my journal. Regardless of whether I write in it or not, I always have a journal with me. In my diaper bag, purse, work laptop bag…it doesn’t matter, it’s always there so I know that a new quote or an errant thought that feels poignant enough to record doesn’t get forgotten.
Second to my journal is Trello. I have boards for everything to help me;
Plan our weekly menus
Plan my daily work at the day job
Write out quotes and thoughts from the books I read, podcasts I listen to, and videos I watch
I like it because it’s a searchable journal that allows me to capture to many things I’m interested in or working on at one time. The only downside of using it is that I always feel like it could be more organized, but otherwise it’s a near perfect tool.
P.S. Abby Wambach’s name came up in The Passion Paradox and it was interesting to hear her talk about her new book, Wolfpack, and the book is definitely going on my reading list. Here were some of the things that stood out and got me thinking.
Celebrate the good habits
This struck me because we tend to underestimate the good habits we already have and overestimate the bad habits that we’re working to eliminate. But for you to be at a point in life where you can afford the luxury of time to read a blog post, or in my case write one, something must have gone right.
In my case, the values of:
Have gotten me from where I was, a bright eyed 16 year-old who hopped on a plane with everything she owned in a single suitcase…to where I am today—a married mom of two with a thriving family life, careers that contribute to a positive net worth, and assets that make that suitcase look like a paper towel.
Something’s going right, and I invite you to think about the values and the good habits that contribute to the beauty in your life right now. Yes you need to make progress, but don’t forget to acknowledge what you’re already doing right.
You only fail if you quit the game
Oy! This quote can stand on its own. Sometimes we think that the people who succeed are the ones who go big or go home, who make the bold choices, and who knock down every obstacle in their way.
The truth is very different.
Those who succeed are the ones who:
take small steps in the direction of their dreams no matter how hard it is to take those steps.
avoid shiny objects that masquerade as bold choices. Instead, choose the unglamorous actions that’ll get them the progress they desire.
keep chiseling away at the walls when it makes sense to do so. And pivot in a different path, but in the same direction, when it no longer makes sense.
This was a powerful reminder that it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about staying in the game. You don’t have to go hard all the time and it’s okay to pause or pivot, but you only lose when you quit altogether.
Make your asks worth it
All the YESSES to this one!!! This is so relevant for me because I recently had a new role added to my plate at work. It involves doing work that I enjoy…writing.
As an engineer, putting together writing projects isn’t something that I have the opportunity to do all the time. But as soon as I got my current role and saw the opportunity to do content development, I raised my hand every chance I got.
And raising my hand paid off big time. This quote is going next to my monitor at work to remind me on the days it gets hard that I wanted this, that I asked for it, and I have to make sure that ask was worth it.
And finally…Own It
This quote makes me smile because I think it all time when it comes to what I do as a content development lead. I enjoy the fact that what I do makes my boss’s life easier and my company better because EJ’s got it. I know neither my boss nor the company will be taking a nap, but it feels good to be:
lightening the load,
contributing to the broader team,
and getting paid for the pleasure of doing work I love.
What did you get out of the video?
I tend to watch these videos when I’m working or cleaning or cooking…bottom line, I’m multitasking and pausing when a gem cracks my consciousness. Not the best thing, but hey, I’m a busy mom.
So I’d like your help…if you watched the video, what did you learn from it? Click here to send me a message and share. And don’t forget to check out other awesome content that Marie Forleo does, she’s amazing at doing the work and being consistent.
With the New Year comes resolutions, plans, planners, and the works…and this year, I’m trying something new and wanted to share with you.
The Bullet Journal first came into my life via my best friend Peace. She has the most beautiful bullet journal filled with art, shapes, and gorgeous calligraphy…but more importantly, the evolution of her life shows that it’s helped her achieve her goals.
So I decided to give it a go for myself this year.
We all have a busy season…whether you’re like me and you have a full-time job, a marriage to nurture, and two kids underfoot or you have a different set of pressing priorities…it’s hard to stay accountable and avoid the temptation to put healthy living on the backburner.